There are moments when you find yourself replaying a conversation, questioning a decision, or wondering whether you are enough. I have been there, and shifting my perspective has not always been easy.
What I have learned is this: your feelings deserve attention, but they do not have to become a verdict on your worth or your ability to lead. “Shake it off” is an invitation to pause, understand what you are experiencing, and choose how to respond.
1. Name What You Are Feeling
Acknowledge the emotion without judging yourself for having it. Are you disappointed, uncertain, frustrated, or overwhelmed? Naming it can help you describe what needs attention.
A useful starting point is: “I feel stuck. What is making this situation difficult, and what options do I have?”
2. Create Space to Reflect
You do not have to respond immediately. Step away briefly, take a walk, or write down what happened and how it affected you. Give yourself room to consider what the situation requires.
Ask: Do I need rest, more information, support, or a conversation?
3. Reframe the Story Accurately
Notice when a difficult moment becomes a sweeping conclusion. “I am not good enough” may be more accurately expressed as “This task is challenging, and I need to identify what will help me complete it.”
Draw on previous experience without dismissing the current challenge: “I have worked through uncertainty before. What helped, and what can I apply here?”
4. Choose a Deliberate Action
Select one manageable step connected to what you need. Send the email, ask a clarifying question, outline a plan, or schedule the conversation. Sometimes the appropriate next step is to rest before deciding.
The goal is a useful response to the situation, rather than movement for its own sake.
5. Seek Perspective and Support
A mistake or difficult day does not represent your entire leadership journey. Review the broader evidence of your growth and contribution. Speak with someone who can offer encouragement and honest perspective.
You can acknowledge what needs to improve while recognizing what you already do well.
Your Next Step
Name one feeling, identify the need behind it, and choose one thoughtful response. You do not have to force yourself to feel differently before taking care of what matters.
For a faith-anchored space to explore identity, self-acceptance, and renewed confidence, visit Learning to See HER within the WiL Suite.